The Talk

Children and their sexuality


by Melissa Sundwall/ October 14, 2015

Most parents struggle when it comes to talking to their kids about sex. Sadly, some parents simply never muster the courage to have “the talk” with their kids. With the prevalence of Internet pornography and children who are immersed in a culture that is preoccupied with sex, the parental voice in the lives of kids is invaluable. When parents go silent, kids learn about sex in ways that can have lifelong negative consequences.

Parents are handing their young children smart phones that can connect to the Internet. Almost every gaming console preteens own can access porn. Children at school are sharing porn like it is just another cool thing to do. This early exposure to porn is devastating to healthy sexual development. More than half of all porn today depicts violence and verbal abuse.

So how do we help parents disciple their kids in the area of healthy sexuality? 

The answer is for them to start communicating. The day of the “talk” is over. With the challenges facing kids today, parents must start talking and keep talking. An environment of openness concerning sex is critical. The only hope parents have for counteracting the constant onslaught of negative information and behavior that their kids are face is to open an ongoing dialogue. 

Encourage parents to share these positive messages

  • Sex is a good thing—God made it and gave it as a gift.
  • You can have sex lots of different ways, but that doesn’t mean it is good for you. (Example: food)
  • Sex between married people is the best sex because married people are supposed to share everything and feel no shame.
  • Sex feels good to the heart and the body when it happens within its purpose.
  • Your sexual feelings are normal. Everyone has them.
  • It is normal to be curious about the other sex.
  • Even though it can be exciting, looking at people naked or other people having sex changes our brains in a bad way.
  • If someone shows you pictures of naked people, come talk to me. I won’t be mad at you.
  • Please come talk to me anytime about sex. 

The most important message a parent can share indirectly is: 

  • I am very comfortable with my sexuality.

For additional Parenting resources go to http://www.integritynow.org/parents/